Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The fork in the road...

True story: A friend and I were making our way to our weekend destination. We had decided to venture out and were treating ourself to a stay at a horse ranch. I was to later learn it was my friend's birthday, so it was a double treat. Oh, did I mention we were in Botswana which made the venture even more special. So we had ridden the crowded combi to our stop. We were the only ones I recall getting off and we were surrounded by nothing but trees. We searched for the sign and found that it pointed into the trees...hummm. So we braved our way forward. We were doing well, enjoying each other's company and the purity of nature when we found ourselves at a crossroads. The road suddenly split and the signs had stopped. Which way do we go? We entered an small panic as we tried to discern which way to the resort? We'll call. Good idea. Thank God for cellphone service even in the middle of the bush! Well, my friend makes the call and then she laughs. What is it I ask? He said, referring to the friendly lodge owner, that it doesn't matter which way we go for they both lead to the same place. What a relief and so we went right, simply to go right, trusting our destination was ahead.

Well, I recalled this story just yesterday. See I had called a different friend to obtain information. He had knowledge of inviting me to a Spiritual Experience on the same weekend as another Spiritual Healing Workshop. So I needed more details to help assist me in choosing where I would be spending my time that weekend. While explaining the conflicting event to him, he lovingly passed along encouragement of how he has known several other people who have had to make such decisions which arranging to come to the event he was associated with. He spoke of it transformative nature, the high vibration and the assist of the Angelic realm in preparing a space for individual enlightment, expansion and growth. Then he mentioned, "I see you are at a split". Really, I don't see it that way for I feel I will gain either way. Despite my response, he didn't seem convinced. I sensed his feeling as if I would miss something should I not come to the event he was promoting. Yet, I found myself remembering the scene from above. "They both lead to the same place". Sometimes we put such emphasis into our decisions. Seeking to get something out the experience and often feeling as if it isn't available at home. But my travel to Africa, showed me that there are often many tresaures right in our own backyard or right were we stand for essentially, we are that treasure. So I truly am seeing my mindset shifting to believe that I carry the angels with me, so I don't need to worry about meeting them somewhere else, for they arrive when I do. So maybe the blessing is to go where others are not as aware of the Angels' presence and take them there with me.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Young Love

How free children are to love. No fear. No expectations. No rules. No “what ifs”. No guidelines even. No, it needs to be so many dates before I can love you. No, I have to know you this long. No, you can’t have had this many arguments or disagreements before I can love you. No “no”. When a child feels love, they express it. No guilt. No shame. No fear.

I have observed this pattern several times before as I work with children. Often, I have been told the words “I love you” even after one meeting. But it was my own child who made the significance of this truth real for me.

We were leaving the parking lot. My child was a screaming mess in his car seat. “I don’t want him to go”. The “Him” in question was my most recent lover. We were meeting to talk as things had grown tense. "Him" and I no longer were focused on wanting the same goal for our relationship. "Him" was feeling the need to be “friends,” whereas I wanted more. We had been dating sporadically for less than 6 months, but in that time, it appeared my child had made his own assessment.

“Mommy, I love Him,” my son declares through his snotty tears- real tears, as we drove away.

“What baby?”, I asked trying to conceal my disbelief and shock. I was being confronted with what might have been my biggest fear…so to be sure I was clear on what I heard, I asked again. "What baby?"

“I love Him”. Yep, I was correct in what I heard and I was now in full shock. “What am I ever gonna do?”, I think to myself.

Panic. What do I say to that? Especially knowing
how things were not looking favorably for me.

Later, upon reflection, I found myself pondering, why should my son not love “Him”? "Him"was absolutely great with my child. When the three of us were together, I felt like the third wheel as my child was always greeted 1st and with much enthusiasm. Him tended to my child diligently, affectionately and genuinely. They watched movies together. “Him” always made sure my child never went hungry. They played together and laughed often.

So then why the panic? Why such shock?

Because you aren’t suppose to love someone that quickly.

Wow! How true that is? Or so we often tell ourselves. In fact, I recall other lovers including "Him"talk of we not having met the magical criteria of spending enough time together or hitting some magical number for how long we’ve known each other or dated was reason for us not to be in love. One former lover stated, “I dated my last girlfriend for 2 years before we committed." And for many, I acknowledge this is true and that it is a logical argument – the need to know one’s partner for a length of time before committing or “falling” in love.

But here I was with a screaming child and firm declaration on my hands. In that moment, my son was teaching me a lesson. A lesson most young children have already mastered. The lesson being free to love openly!

In that moment, my son didn’t care whether "Him" loved him back. My son didn’t care what happened next as he was honoring his feelings in that moment as he felt them. And in that moment, he knew he enjoyed being with "Him" and therefore wanted more time with "Him".

No attachment. No commitment. Just his truth of how he felt. And he allowed himself to give voice to how he was feeling and what he wanted. How freeing.

So of course my child had grown to love "Him". In fact, I wasn’t close behind my child as I answered “I think Mommy does too Sweetie. Mommy does too.”

Often as adults when we love, things can turn serious. Complicated. Heavy. Even burdensome as each beloved lives under the expectations of the other, while simultaneously being held under the strain of keeping tally of whether the other’s actions or inactions live up to their own expectations. Keeping tract of rights and wrongs can be time consuming. Children know that there are better ways to expend their time. In this respect, they are wiser than most adults because for them loving equals F-U-N. And often when one is focused on the task of achieving nothing but pure F-U-N, they are doing so F-E-A-R-L-E-S-S-ly.

When children love it is 100% unconditional guaranteed. They love freely as they have little concern with how they will be thought of as a result of who they love. They have no time requirements for how long they have to have known the object of their love. No time restraints for the number of times they have engaged with their Beloved. No limitations whatsoever. They simply love 100% and then express. When the recipient of such love, how can one not help but be impacted positively and want to give love in return?

What if we as adults choose to do the same? To allow ourselves free expression of love without fear of what’s next?

How about we give it a try? In the meantime, here are some suggestions that might assist us all in re-opening our Heart to fearless love the next time you feel weighted down by its pressure.

· What makes the person I love feel loved by me?
o Often in situations, we respond by giving what we want to receive. However, every person is unique and therefore often we have unique needs and wants. So get curious, ask your Beloved what it is that you do or they would like for you to do such that they feel loved by you. And in kind, you can share what it is that makes you feel loved by them.

· See the Good!
o One of the best insights a former friend gave me was that the way he got over our arguments was by remembering the things he enjoyed about me. What wisdom! So try it! Next time your Beloved is picking your last nerve, take a minute and write/recall all the reason you desired the person in the first place.

· Lastly, don’t focus on being right, focus on being happy. Will this matter one year from now?
o One of my mentors gave me this word of wisdom for handling conflict with my Beloved. My mentor said, "Dear One, When your Beloved gets mad at you, take them outside, hang them by their feet on an apple tree and then tickle them to death." Funny, enough this wisdom works for me as well. So in the grand scheme of things, you might find that the one thing that is plucking your nerves really isn't that heavy anyway. Therefore, let it go! Be present to the moment and Love!

So get to it! Love! And let me know how it goes!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Quest for Passion

How does one recognize and or identify their passion? How do they know when they have found it?

One of my favorite tee-shirts has the word “passionate” written across the chest in airbrush. I love this shirt. It spoke to me the first time I saw it. While wearing it one day, a friend asked “Passionate? What are you passionate about?” The question stunned me. For I truly didn’t have a prepared answered. The only thing that came to mind was “well yes, I am passionate. About life!” Although it sounds clique even to write, there was truth in this for me. I take pride on trying to live passionately, but exactly how do I obtain this, even when every moment is not experienced as being one of ecstasy nor desire or even liking for that manner?

To find the answer, I have to return to childhood. For the things and activities which ignite passion now are the same activities which I would lose myself in as a young girl. I believe this will differ for every one, but yet as children there is usually some thing that can be identified as an act which would entertain one for hours although it seemed only like minutes had passed by. For me, it was dancing, singing or drawing. I remember turning the music up on the radio and dancing for hours. Just me and the mirror. I would dance until I was sweating and then would dance some more. Other moments, I would draw at the kitchen table and simply lose all sense of time as I was absorbed in my creation. If people in the house paid close attention, I could also be spied making up songs as I sang to the plants on the coffee table. You’d have thought I was in a music video singing to an audience for I gave those plants a heart-felt performance. In each of these moments, I tapped into a magical flow within me. I was fully absorbed in the moment and therefore captivated by the experience of what I was engaged in. Sometimes it felt as if I merged with the activity or the movement. As I became the dance instead of being the dancer. I became the art instead of just the artist. I became the song instead of the singer. And this is how I can now identify my passions, by the feeling experienced when amidst the act.

Even to this day, when I am creating a new work, I venture away such that my awareness and attention is upon nothing else. Everything else that might be present becomes background noise. Even my thoughts stop as I am fully engulfed and enveloped within the energy of that moment.

So for the seeker, I would suggest exploration. Think of the things that have captured your interest. Those things that you have paid witness to from afar and thought, wow that would be cool and then try it. See how it feels internally. Are you excited? Do you look forward to trying it again? Try it again and notice what captivates you? Be daring, try the things that have intrigued you but that you may have judged. Remember that which you enjoyed as a child and reconnect with it. Play. Pretend that you are an explorer seeking new territory. Whatever you do, keep seeking and experimenting for once you find what you are passionate about, you have fuel that will assist you in keeping your own inner fire ablaze.

And remember, life is not stagnant. So over time, your passions may too expand and evolve. For example, the runner can grow from athlete to coach. Or the athlete can grow from runner to yoga enthusiast to pole dancer. The world is truly your playground. Embrace the opportunities surrounding you and soon you will reveal those things and/or activities which allow you to outwardly express your soul’s essence and thus experience passion.

Then remember, once you identify the pathway to visit often. Make time to engage in these activities. Schedule them into your day on a consistent basis. I trust you will be amazed at even giving one day per month will do for your vigor when amongst what appears to be the mundane activities of life. For me, this is how I achieve a passionate life. By factoring in time for these experiences such that I have something to look forward to and something to propel me forward. But don’t stop there, explore more. For with such a plethora of opportunities waiting to be had, you just may find room to add yet another passion to your already passionate life. Now go!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Goddess Post: I Invite You Inside...

I recall that while a former lover was visiting, he walked around my room and observed that I had several shelves full of what he called "self-help" books. He expressed bewilderment as he couldn't understand why I would have such an interest. Only to meet him again, seven years later, to witness him standing in front of a club, hosting an event packed full of people, encouraging them via microphone, to read books for "self-study". Ha! My heart smiled to say the least.

Given that my former lover is merely one of several people who have asked me in various times of my life to share of what I "know", I AM now choosing to explore the answer to this very question within this blog. So I welcome you inside the mind of Me, a Goddess Travelling in Hueman Form. Just maybe we can figure out this whole hueman experience thing out together or at least become confused together along the way.

Okay, so shall we begin. The question of the moment is: how have I managed and continue to attract the means to become a better person? What resources or practices allow me to focus daily on things that I mostly feel but can't see or even rationalize? In other words, what has helped me to connect with my inner Light, inner Spirit or Goddess Within (as I like to call it)?

Now, let me say this now, just because I use the word Goddess, please do not assume that my sharing will only apply to women. For truth is, we all are combinations of masculine and feminine energies. We are not only one or the other. And one isn't better than the other. Both are needed as they are complimentary. I've always thought that the French culture has been ahead of its time for this very reason. At first, I thought it bizarre that everything, meaning every word, had either a masculine or feminine pronoun. Not to mention, this complicated matters while trying to learn the language as a 9th grader (did I mention I still can't roll my "r"). But now I see the wisdom and even accuracy in such a system for it mirrors the Divine design of life. For all things, especially things living can be categorized in terms of their function: do they give energy (masculine) or receive and hold it (feminine)? Do they create something (masculine) or do they nurture it (feminine)?

Of course, I am simplifying matters here, but often things are truly simpler than the hueman mind likes to convince us. Ha! That's how clever we are. That we often take something simple, complicate it through use of rational thought and explanations, only to then confuse ourselves. We are humorous creatures indeed.

So I welcome you to receive my sharing and pray that these words may find a resting place in your soul and provide your Spirit food in times of need.

"I AM" Masego